Archive for the 'Humor' Category

Mar 06 2011

Living With a Toddler

Published by under Humor,Personal

With 5 kids, it’s no big surprise that most areas of our house are typically a disaster area. Today it was the kitchen. Amy had all the kids out of the house so I attempted to address some of the damage.

On the kitchen table were crumbs of cinnamon cereal that the oldest thoughtfully left out. The youngest took this as an open invitation to help herself. Nothing surprising there, but the aftermath was less than amusing. The oldest “cleaned” up the mess since he played an integral part in this scenario. Of course, by clean up, we meant just brush the majority of it off the visible surfaces off and certainly didn’t actual intend for any one to break out the heavy duty tools like a broom or a wash cloth, but whatever.

While I was sweeping a wash cloth over the table, I ran across a particularly stubborn section of crumbs. Didn’t think much of it since there was a great deal of sugar in the crumbs and just assumed that it was some crusted over stuff that had gotten wet. Then I noticed the elmer’s glue bottle dangling precariously over the edge of the counter. Cap still open. Closer inspection verified my Sherlock Holmes like deductions that the cereal was in fact, very literally glued to the table.

Awesome.

I was fortunate enough to catch it prior to it fully setting so it wasn’t like chipping away at cement, but it wasn’t pleasant either. Most of our stuff can easily be described as “old, piece of crap ____” and our kitchen table is no exception, but it still doesn’t mean that I was gonna leave the fruits of this day’s learning experience to be a reminder for the rest of the table’s life. Around here, that may not be that long but one can hope.

Share

No responses yet

Nov 28 2010

And How Was Your Holiday?

Published by under Humor,Personal

I’m glad to be home. I am already waiting for when I can plop my head down on my own pillow. And for some reason, no one ever seems to have decent water pressure in their shower. How do these people live?

Anyway, the highlight signature funny moment happened at my in laws. The conversation obviously got on to discussion of girly magazines and dude’s getting tattoos on their junk. It’s thanksgiving FFS, why wouldn’t the conversation go in that direction? Well, my mother in law discusses how she would find and read the playboys of her oldest son before throwing them out. Some how she turns the conversation on to how she spared her husband (who, while he was within ear shot but not involved in the conversation either doesn’t hear or pretends not to hear the ongoing conversation) the knowledge of their son’s “reading” periodicals and discloses her take on how he would perceive those materials by saying “I’m sure he would be happier if you showed him a sheep”.

Now, you kind of have to understand my mother in law to understand that she totally did not mean it in the context that I’m sure 99% of the people who would read/hear this would at first think. She doesn’t make dirty jokes, she doesn’t swear, she likely doesn’t have a single dirty thought enter her head. Secondly you have to have the knowledge that my father in law dables in raising sheep on their farm. Even with all that knowledge to all present, it did not stop the roar of laughter. While she meant it as a joke, I’m sure she still doesn’t understand why that statement would cause such a reaction from her present kids and kids in law.

She had one of those looks on her face that toddlers get when they do something funny but don’t really know why. They are trying to piece together what they did so they can do it again. I’m certain my mother in law was trying to figure it out so that she does not do it again assuming (correctly so) that she had inadvertently said something that everyone took as being dirty.

Good times.

Share

No responses yet

Jun 04 2009

A Song for Dave Ulliot

Published by under Humor

This is a shokingly addictive video. Got a hankering to hear it again and thought I might as well post it for all to share. Perfect timing in celebration for the WSOP going on right now.

Share

No responses yet

Feb 27 2009

I think my Poker Needs a Bailout Too

Published by under Humor

toothpaste for dinner
toothpastefordinner.com

Share

No responses yet

Jan 23 2009

Bo Yo

Published by under Humor

Stolen from Probability’s blog.

Yeah, I stole it. I’m not gonna pretend that the amount of original thought on the internet isn’t rapidly approaching zero. In fact, I’m very certain it’s a function of the relationship between the amount of content on the internet to the amount that is original. You know, something like f(x)=1/x. At least I admit it.

Share

2 responses so far

Jan 20 2009

A Video Representation of My Life…

Published by under Humor,Sports

Ok. I’m being a bit over dramatic. While not that bad, sometimes it feels like it. Haven’t felt much like posting lately, but that’s going away.

More to come. I’m sure you are all eagerly waiting with bated breath.

Share

No responses yet

Next »