May 22 2011

Tick Tick Boom

Published by at 10:53 pm under Entertainment,Personal,Sports

Last night we went to the BisMan Bombshellz first bout in Bismarck. Being a busy weekend and kids were all over the place, we weren’t certain we could make it but we found a way to make it work.

I haven’t heard much advertisement other than through friends, so I wasn’t sure what to expect for a turn out. When we got to the VFW, the parking lot closely rivaled the full load from a Bobcat’s games. We almost regretted not getting our tickets early. That ended up being a non-issue. The setup they have I think they could support twice as many spectators as they can at the Bobcat’s games.

I’m going to be honest. I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect. I really don’t know much about Roller Derby short of a few 5 minute ESPN segments and that episode of Psych where Juliet goes undercover to infiltrate a roller derby crime team. Not to say that all derbiers (I don’t know what they technical like to be called) are deliquents and criminals. I haven’t even seen Whip It yet (but it is on my netflix queue behind a few Hitchcock movies).

Truth be told, right now I’m kinda hoping that idea of derbiers not being violent felons is true. I’m also hoping they don’t mind being called derbiers in case I’m wrong. A few of those girls really look like they could hurt me beyond what I would consider my acceptable pain threshold for a deserved beating. It’s probably best to just try and avoid the subject and move on.

I did try to get some pictures at the event, but the lighting wasn’t allowing that possible from the bleachers. I likely could have gotten some good shots from the “suicide seating” down next to the ring, but I think the potential of coming back to the bleachers after leaving my wife with 4 kids would have put me into a situation I mentioned above in which the pain I was owed was beyond what I was comfortable facing. I will look through the pictures and see if I can “salvage” a few of them and post them online.

Speaking of the “suicide seats”, it took me most of the way through the first bout to distinguish WTF he was saying concerning them. I wasn’t sure if he was saying “Get the f’ off the floor” or “come on down”. Eventually, I grasped the point he was trying to convey was “Get your kids off the floor so we don’t get sued when your child inevitably gets bashed in the face by a wayward skate”. Understandable. Others must have had similar difficulty understanding the announcers as I saw tons of people leading their kid to certain disfigurement. Either that or after properly weighed the risks and rewards of the action and logically determined being that much closer to the skaters would be a much larger mark on that child’s life than the potential of having a skate wheel divot permanently branded on their child’s forehead. Sound call, there, bucko.

The crowd really didn’t seem to get into it for the first bout. I’m not sure if it was apathy, confusion, a lack of appropriate alcohol having been consumed, or something else I have yet to consider, but they was a marked difference between the two bouts in terms of fan participation. I didn’t mind as it gave me an opportunity to try and figure out how it worked.

As for the kids, while I don’t think there is anything wrong with it for the kids, my younger kids had difficulty grasping the subtleties of the scoring mechanics. It’s easy to understand “When the ball goes through the hoop, they score points”. It’s a bit more difficult to understand “When the girl with the star on her head passes all all the apposing team the first time, they score a point for each apposing player there after”. It basically meant I heard a lot of “Why are they cheering?”.

They still enjoyed coming out, but I don’t think they want to be season ticket holders. At least until they are able to comprehend a multifaceted system of scoring consisting of following intervals of occurrences on the field covered with 10 bodies speeding around an oval and colliding like they are being forced through a large hadron collider. Kids. What are you gonna do?

All in all, I had a good time and was glad I was able to go. I think it is something that would be fun to go with a group of friends and maybe if I can get on the floor, have a chance to get some pictures worth posting. Sans kids.

PS. If you are a derbier but find the term “derbier” unsavory, please spare my pretty face and just tell me what else to use. I mean no disrespect.

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Tick Tick Boom”

  1. Mikeon 23 May 2011 at 6:55 am

    I’ll save you. : ) Generally “derbiers” just refer to each other as derby girls or skaters.

  2. Anthonyon 23 May 2011 at 7:28 am

    Thanks, Mike.

    Skaters seemed much to mundane to refer to any participant in this type of activity so I took that one out. Was looking for something shorter than “derby girls”. Might have to try out a few other words and hopefully I get something to stick.

  3. aprilon 23 May 2011 at 5:15 pm

    My friend is on the Bombshellz. Her derby name is evelyn zombie. I did ask her what they call themselves and she said roller girls :) sorry for the all caps. For some reason I couldn’t get it to lowercase on my phone for this site.

  4. aprilon 23 May 2011 at 5:16 pm

    Ok apparently it only shows up when I type it in all caps but posts it normally. Nevermind!

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